Wife tricks husband into kayaking trip despite knowing he hates water sports, he resorts to blowing an airhorn at her when she refuses to let him opt out: “It succeeded in cutting through the clamor and shutting [them] up”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Feb 21, 2025 3:00 PM EST

Ladies and gentlemen of the internet, welcome. When you marry someone, there's no predicting the trajectory of your relationship. No one marries with the expectation that they'll get a divorce. You never know how you two will change or grow together, or what you will go through together. Sometimes, they may drive you crazy. You may feel like splitting up with them, or simply ignoring them for a week. You could fight about the most petulant things. When you spend that much time with someone, it's easy to get distracted by the little things that don't necessarily matter. To be affected by his tone, or her sneezes, or the way someone eats. The point is that when you're married, you both need to find a way to work through things, and both need to be open to communication and resolution. 

In the story below, it doesn't follow an unhappy couple into divorce. But it does center around a certain fight the two had. The wife wants her husband to kayak, and he has an aversion to it. They fight until things get out of control. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for using an airhorn to get people to stop yelling at me?

    Cheezburger Image 10470397184
    via kapulya from Getty Images Pro / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Throwaway account because i have a main Reddit handle..apologies for the length. I'm currently on vacation in CA, and my wife and I are staying at a house rented by one her closest friend's parents (call them Dale and Sidney), along with some other people..
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 03
    Anyway, the incident in question: Sidney had signed us up, without telling me or, I thought, my wife for a big kayak outing.
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 04
    Right off the bat, I do NOT enjoy these kind of water sports. I just never have. Moreover, I simply wasn't in the mood to try it out, especially kayaking - WHICH I HAD NEVER DONE BEFORE. This is important.
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 05
    When my wife came in and told me we were doing it, I said I wasn't interested. At first, I almost thought she was joking, because she knows how much I dislike water stuff like this. But she said she was serious, and that we had to go since the hosts had paid for it. I told her no one asked me if I even wanted to go. She then admitted that Sidney
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 06
    asked her if we wanted to go, and my wife agreed.
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 07
    Now, here I was annoyed that my wife volunteered me for something that she didn't even consult with me about. Moreover, it was something that she knew I really disliked. I told her I felt no obligation to honor something that another person made on my behalf.
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 08
    She then looked flustered and said she was sorry she didn't ask me, but could I please come anyway. I reminded her how much I don't enjoy these things, and she said she understood, but still wanted me to go to keep the peace, as she put it.
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 09
    I said I would happily reimburse her the cost in lieu of going, but that got her all flustered and she again just forcefully asked that I just put up with it for one afternoon.
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 10
    I wanted her to have a good vacation, and didn't want to make any waves with Sidney or Dale, or her friends, for her sake, so I reluctantly agreed, but told her - somewhat sternly - to never volunteer me for something like this again.
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 11
    It was awkward driving to the place, but we got there and started getting ready and dressed with life vests and whatnot, and headed outside to the water. When I met the guide, he asked us about our previous kayaking experiences. When he got to me, I told him I had never done it before.
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 12
    He looked at me funny, and said this was an advanced kayaking course, and I would really struggle with it as a novice. Moreover, he asked me in a pretty annoyed - tone - why I had come if I had never kayaked before. Everyone was looking at me now, and I was getting embarrassed and flustered
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 13
    myself. Trying to be diplomatic with my wife around, I told him I essentially got volunteered into doing this through a misunderstanding. And I said if he thinks it's too hard for a beginner, I could skip out. He said that was probably a good idea.
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 14
    I got to leave, and this is where it went of the rails. To be fair, I should point out that I was pretty annoyed and borderline angry with my wife for "setting me up" to look foolish even though I knew that wasn't her intention at all. I thought leaving would let everyone else have a good time.
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 15
    Sidney then approached me and asked why I even agreed to come if I had never been. Again, everyone was looking at me, and I hate being put on the spot like that.
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 16
    I decided to be honest and said my wife signed us both up without asking me, and she probably didn't know that this was an advanced course. I saw her get beat red when I said this, so I presume she was embarrassed too.
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 17
    Sidney said she didn't like wasting money. I apologized and offered to reimburse her. She said it wasn't about the money, but wasting her time and effort. I really didn't know what to say, so I just apologized again and said I'll make sure things are clearer in the future, and I appreciated her thinking of us when planning it.
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 18
    My wife then came over and said I could maybe just try it so we could follow through with our original plans. I said I didn't feel comfortable going on an advanced course on something I had never participated in before, and that shouldn't be hard to understand.
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 19
    This opened the floodgates, and soon the entire group started essentially yelling at me about either wasting time and money, agreeing to something I had no business agreeing with, et al.
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 20
    Sidney and my wife joined in too, with my wife just pleading to try it out anyway. It must have been 12 or so people all talking at me loudly - not full blown screaming, to be fair - but enough to really me off and feel singled start to out.
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 21
    Cheezburger Image 10470396928
    via dondesigns from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 22
    Here, I noticed there was an airhorn nearby, and with everyone yelling ," took at me, I just thought "f the airhorn and blew it up in the air.
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 23
    It was super super loud, as you might expect, but it succeeded in cutting through their clamor and shutting them all up. The fact that I blew it for about 10 seconds also helped. It was de d quiet after. I looked at them all, and said they all needed to stop talking loudly at me, all at
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 24
    once. Moreover, I reiterated that I was not going to go on an advanced course as a novice. I would probably slow them all down, and they'd be even more annoyed and angry at me. I then said again, I was volunteered without being asked, that I should have kept my ground with my wife when the original argument began,
    via u/throwawayairhorn5

  • The thing about fights is that usually it's about something deeper than what's on the surface. Take this piece for example; on the surface, they're fighting because he doesn't want to kayak, but it's about something more. Maybe it's about her feeling like he's a shell of himself, and won't go out of his comfort zone, and for him it's about his boundaries. 

  • 25
    and that, most of all, I was sick of being ganged up on. My wife and a few others again tried to intervene, but I simply pressed the airhorn again, for only about 2 seconds this time. I then said I was done arguing, out the airhorn back, and told my wife to get a ride with one of them back to
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 26
    the house, and i got into my car and drove back. On the car ride back, I questioned if I went too far. But I absolutely hate being ganged up on, due to bad experiences in the past. But I realized I could made a panic move.
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 27
    Moreover, I was also still kind of angry at my wife, so I decided I would get my own hotel for night to cool off. I texted her a message telling her that, along with a note that I think she, whether purposely or not, set me up to fail and be embarrassed. I asked her not to contact me until the next day. I'm at the hotel now. It's a nice one and I feel calmed down.
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 28
    Cheezburger Image 10470404096
    via paulbr75 from pixabay / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Why are these people so insistent that he kayaks? It's such a strange and unusual thing to force on someone. It's definitely not for everyone, and it can also be dangerous. Even the guy running the event says that OP shouldn't go! Why is his wife trying to force this?

  • 29
    Ok, so...did I overreact? Did I do anything wrong? Was blowing the airhorn the wrong move?
    via u/throwawayairhorn5
  • 30
    • Ag... 12h ago • Edited 8h ago Your wife set you up and she is the AH. A) You don't like water sports. B) You are not an experienced kayaker and should NOT be in an advanced course.
    via u/Aggravating-Pain9249
  • 31
    This is all on your wife. I don't know why she didn't talk with you. Her failure to talk with you is what caused the problem. Would I use the airhorn? HL YEAH.
    via u/Aggravating-Pain9249
  • 32
    A) They were convinced you should do something where you might get hurt for the sake of the group. Thanks for thinking of OP. B) Your wife didn't want to be held accountable for her failure to talk to you, or take you into consideration.
    via u/Aggravating-Pain9249
  • 33
    I am not saying this is something to divorce over. Reddit often jumps to that conclusion very quickly. But I would be very angry if my spouse did not communicate with me about this, particularly if they knew I was NOT into water sports. NTA
    via u/Aggravating-Pain9249
  • 34
    • Senator_Bink ⚫ 12h ago NTA. That could have killed you. Even experienced kayakers have drowned when their kayak flipped and they were unable to get out of it. Sounds like the airhorn was the only thing that would cut through their noise. You did nothing wrong.
    via u/Senator_Bink

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